I recently recorded one of my favorite Fort NOT Lost in the Woods Podcast episodes of the season. The episode titled “Route 66, an Old Car and a Lesson in Looking for the Good,” is about a young Canadian man whose life changed when he decided to ignore online negativity and “Look for the Good”. I won’t rehash the episode, it’s available if you want to listen to it…. but it does bring up something I have never really understood. Why is it so difficult for some people to focus on the positive aspects of life?
You know the people I’m talking about….maybe you even fall into that category. For example, open Facebook for just a few minutes, and before you know it, you’ll be reading comments about what’s wrong with this town, what’s wrong with that business, what somebody should have done differently, or how things just aren’t like they used to be. Example after example of people getting sucked into the negativity spiral. It’s easy. Negativity grabs your attention. It’s loud. It’s emotional. And thanks to social media, it’s right there in front of us all day long. But lately I have become hopeful that maybe….just maybe…. people are tiring of the constant whining, complaining and always finding fault. Here’s why I believe this may be the case.
Recently I observed a few instances of the usual complainers on social media trying to stir the pessimistic pot, and instead of the majority of people following along, there was less agreement with those who were negative and more support for those who were positive, or at least those looking for solutions instead of focusing on negativity. Several people commented things like “What have you done to fix this issue? or “Have you done anything besides complain on Facebook”? And those types of comments received more favorable reactions than the negative comments. This gives me hope that the tide is turning.
Isn’t life is hard enough without everyone drinking from the proverbial “Glass half empty?” What would happen if we started looking for the good as hard as we look for the bad? Not because there aren’t things that need to change. And definitely not because we should pretend everything is wonderful when it isn’t. There are absolutely things in our communities that need attention. Businesses make mistakes. Government makes mistakes. Schools have challenges. Roads need repaired. Decisions are made that people disagree with. But instead of simply pointing out what’s wrong, what if we became part of the solution? What if we stopped and asked, “What can I do to make this better?”
There is a big difference between caring enough to point out a problem and caring enough to actually help solve it. Here’s a real example. A local Mom became very concerned about her child (as well as others) walking to and from school in an area of town with no crosswalk. She brought the issue up months ago on social media. Kids were in danger. There was no crosswalk in this area frequently traveled by pedestrians, especially children, and someone was going to get hurt. She was understandably worried and angry. Lots of people got on board complaining about this issue and more. But the difference is, this mom did something about it. She took the time to meet with school and city officials as well as law enforcement, and guess what? She recently watched traffic come to a halt while her child safely crossed the road using a brand-new crosswalk. Complaining on Facebook didn’t keep her child safe but being a great mother who took the time to work on a solution, did. And I think that’s something worth talking about. In addition to being part of the solution and not the problem…. What if, instead of asking, “What’s wrong with this?”, we occasionally ask, “What’s right with this?“
What if we look for the business owner who stayed open when times were tough or tried to understand why they may not have been able to? What if we thank the person who volunteers every weekend instead of focusing on things that aren’t getting done? What if we gave a shout-out to the restaurant that’s been serving this community for decades instead of picking them apart online because they made a decision we didn’t like? What if we noticed the person picking up trash that somebody else threw on the ground? What if we shared the good story instead of the angry one? The list goes on and on.
Sure, when you post or talk about good things, you may not get as many comments. Where there is no outrage, some people aren’t interested in going. That’s ok. Why would you want them there anyway?
If something needs to change, say something. But instead of stopping there, ask yourself: What can I do about it? If you don’t like something happening in your community, get involved. If you think a business could do better, talk to the owner instead of immediately destroying them online. If you think a local organization needs help, volunteer. If you think a community problem isn’t being addressed, find out who is responsible and start asking questions. If you have an idea for making something better, offer the idea. In other words, become part of the solution.
It’s easy to sit behind a keyboard and point out everything everyone else is doing wrong. It’s a lot harder to roll up your sleeves and help. But that’s where real change happens. Sometimes social media makes it seem like everyone is angry all the time, but remember the internet isn’t the whole community. And it’s likely the “Doers” are out “doing” and don’t have time to sit behind a screen and stir the pot, nor would they want to. There are still people helping their neighbors, opening doors for strangers, buying dinner for someone who needs it, supporting local businesses, coaching kids and donating time. People quietly doing good things without ever posting about them. Those stories happen every single day. We’re just not always looking for them. Let’s change that. Tell somebody you appreciate them. Give credit when credit is due. And when you see something that needs to be better, don’t just throw another negative comment into the pile. Ask yourself what you can do. Because communities aren’t built by people who spend all their time talking about what’s wrong with them. They’re built by people who care enough to make them better. Instead of asking, “Who can I blame?” ask“How can I help?”
Because looking for the good isn’t about pretending there aren’t problems. It’s about refusing to let the problems become the only thing we see. And around here, I have a feeling there’s a lot more good than we’re giving credit for. But you’ll never know unless you make the choice to look for it.